Crash and burn, I want to stop crying, but will I?

Dear family and friends, if you can't tell I had a terrible week, this email might be a short one, because I have not much good to report. 

Monday was pretty good, until pday ended.  We visited akatsuka Shimai, and congratulated her on her year mark of being baptized. Her faith is so strong, and she is amazing. We tried to talk to her husband, but he was very I'm Buddhist, and I'm happy how I am. We just tried to be friendly. We got a bit seperated on the way home, and as we were talking about it, she shouts that I'm scary. I have no clue why, but my companion is afraid of me. 

Tuesday we had a kokan with the stls. They had wanted to do it today before, but it was going to be impossible, we made it possible after last night. Unfortunately the stl I was with, Wagstaff Shimai was really sick, and there was a typhoon all day. We stayed inside, she rested, and I studied. 

Wednesday I returned to Hirakata and we taught kyono San. We had no time to prepare, so I went into that lesson blind, but it went fairly well. Our doseki was amazing, and really helped. After that we had some music practice for the song they wanted us to sing Saturday, and also to get out number for ward conference approved. That took a good chunk of the day. We tried to visit an investigator, but she wasn't home, and I was way hungry, and it was past normal dinner time, so we headed home to eat, and got separated on the way there. Omisaki Shimai got mad at me, and I wasn't very happy with her either, since she left me, and then she shouted that I was scary again, and went to the corner of the bike parking lot and cried for a good long time. The rest of that night, and most of the next day, I was like a piranha, she would not come near me, not within 10 feet. She did talk to Welch Kaicho though, he called. 

Thursday we were inside basically all day, she was avoiding me, and crying and resting all day. I studied, and tried to show love, and near the end of the day, she kind of half forgave me. She told me something from her past that I was bringing back up, and I felt bad for her, but I there was nothing I could do about it, I did say sorry, over and over again. That night emi, the less active that is coming back, invited us over for dinner, and shared with us some fears she has. I was able to connect with her, and shared my experience. I hope it helped her. 

Friday we had district meeting, half of our district is sick. Omisaki Shimai, on top of what is making me scary has had a cold for a week now, and she refuses to just rest and recover so that we can actually dendo. But most of the district is sick, so while it was a good district meeting, it wasn't overly awesome. The district leader is one of the sick ones, so he just gambaroed and tried to follow the spirit. We got home, and she rested, again. And then that night we visited an investigator, to help her out. She is new to her hair job, and so has to practice, and she asked us to come so she could give one of us a hair treatment. I sat and studied, and omisaki Shimai taught her while her hair was treated. 

Saturday we had the family history fair in Hirakata. Not very many people came, a lot of members, and one investigator. But it was good. There were a lot of talks, and the displays were cool, but we had to be there for the whole thing, and there wasn't really anyone to talk to. They had us sing/play I love to see the temple. The sister that was going to sing with omisaki Shimai was sick, and so she did a solo as I played the piano, but omisaki Shimai doesn't know the song, so I ended up humming along to help her remember the melody, it turned out alright. That night, she rested, but not. She doesn't really know how to rest, and she was freaking out about Sunday, and the family home evening that night that they had asked us to make food for. I kept on trying to help, and do it for her, but she wouldn't let me, and just kept doing more. I gave up and studied. And she cooked/rested. Wore herself out. 

Sunday we were supposed to sing come unto Christ as a duet, but I sang it as a solo, because she had killed her voice over the past couple of days, but it went pretty well, even though it was in Japanese. I love that song, and it has more meaning to me know that it ever did before. It was ward conference, and she had been asked to speak a little, and so she did, and all of the talks were great. We had a lot of meeting to go to today, and at the end of it, I was worn out, from trying to take care of her and what not, so I napped during lunch, though she didn't wake me up, so I slept way too long. But I needed it, I'm fighting not getting sick myself right now, and my stomach is almost always upset, so I think my body needed that rest, though most of it was me crying in prayer, and asking what to do, what I could do. That night we had family home evening, and another message prepared only by her, that I had no clue what her plan was. She randomly asked me to translate the hardest part from a conference talk, the witches brew story from halstroms recent conference talk I am a child of God, and I couldn't do it. I don't know magic/mythical words in Japanese. So I drew a picture on the board. 

Anyway, that was my week, I'm tired, I don't know how to make this companionship work, and my companion is still scared of me, and stays as far away from me as she can, without breaking the rules. 

But let me share the lyrics to come unto Christ, because those are inspirational, and I know that as we come unto Christ, he will support us through any trial, and struggle, and give us peace when we aren't done experiencing something that is meant to help us grow. I love you all, I miss you, and I hope you have a great week. I also hope you have another great week and I have a better one. Any prayers would be greatly appreciated. 

Come unto Christ

He's the one who healed the leper, and who brought the dead to life.

He's the one who fed the hungry, and who gave the blind their sight.

He's the one who walked on water, then he brought them safe to shore,

And whenever you may need him, he's the one you're looking for

So let him in, and he will take away you're pain. 

When you feel his love, you'll never be the same. 

Come unto Christ. Come unto him, 

And by his grace be made holy again, 

He's calling you're name, he's waiting for you

With arms open wide. Come unto Christ. 

He's the one who taught forgiveness and who showed a better way. 

He's the one who helped the hopeless and those who'd gone astray. 

He's the Savior and redeemer, the bread of life, the prince of peace. 

If you're hungry lost or captive, he's the one who'll set you free 

So let him in, and you'll remember who you are, 

He will mold your life and change you're willing heart. 

Come unto Christ. Come unto him, 

And by his grace be made holy again, 

He's calling you're name, he's waiting for you

With arms open wide. Come unto Christ. 

And you will find eternal life. 

Come unto Christ. Come unto him, 

And by his grace be made holy again, 

He's calling you're name, he's waiting for you

With arms open wide. Come unto Christ. 

I know that even when we feel utterly alone, that Christ is there, and if we will but turn to him, and allow him to support us, we will be happier, and be able to overcome any trial that we meet. Turning to Christ is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Love, Sister Makin

A change of heart, a change of mindset

Dear family and friends,

This week has been amazing! Do I still struggle to get along with
omisaki Shimai? Yes. Does she still drive me up and down the wall
sometimes? Yes. Is it still stressing me out, and making dendo hard?
Not really. I've made some choices this week that have made things
easier. One. I laugh more, like I used to. It makes irritating things
seem funny, and two, whenever she starts to bug me, I chant omisaki
Shimai is awesome to myself in my head. That normally cools me down,
there are other things I've decided to do, but those are some of the
funnier ones, maybe.

Monday we had a 30/30 lesson with yuu San, it was her first lesson,
and she seemed to really enjoy it, though she is more focused on the
English I think than anything else. Not surprising, but she does seem
genuinely interested in the gospel, which is awesome.

Tuesday we had to watch as broadcast to prepare for zone conference,
because we had forgotten over and over again to do it. It was way
good. We then went on a bit of a split with young women. My companion
assured me they were both laurels, but I wasn't so sure, but I had a
good time with the girl I went with, ayu chan. She was a little shy,
but it was fun. Found out later she is probably still a miamaid...
Oops, but I really didn't know. That night after eikaiwa, we taught
nagaoka San. A former investigator who recently decided he wants to
get baptized. But wait, it gets better. He wants to get baptized, keep
drinking coffee and tea, because that is his 'best' and go less active
basically immeadiately. Needless to say he is not ready, and we're not
really sure what to do with him.

Wednesday we had zone conference, and it was amazing. I learned a lot
about utilizing the tools we have been given, charity, and especially
obedience, and consecrating ourselves. I loved it a lot. As they
talked I got some revelation for me, and I also felt like I got some
for investigators as well, it was way cool. Christ helps us improve
our best, so that we can be perfectly obedient. Her doesn't just make
up the difference for what we lack. That is something I thought about
a lot this week. We also visited some members, and got to share a
member missionary work message with them right before they went to the
temple. They were so happy we visited.

Thursday we helped set up some for Hirakatas upcoming family history
fair. I hope this one turns out well, they got the idea from
shimogamo. We then taught Juliette's friend keika. Lots of Juliette's
friend are at least curious about the gospel, cause they can see how
happy she is, and she isn't afraid to tell them why. She is a great
example. We also visited akatsuka Shimai, and she fed us some chestnut
soup. It was really good. Different, but good.

Friday we had district meeting, and then SKK. We didn't get it done,
but omisaki Shimai wasn't feeling very good, and for that matter
neither was I. Our area book, at least the potential investigator
section, and the former investigator section is currently a mess, so I
told her to get some rest, and I sat down and worked on that a bit at
the end of the night, there was still plenty more to do. Hopefully we
can get that cleaned up and actually useable. I so did not want to do
SKK today, because we almost always get in fights when we plan, or
upset eachother, and I wanted to be chicken. So, after a bit, I prayed
that God would give me the courage to do it, and that it would all
work out and be effective, and he helped me a lot, especially after I
got up off of my butt. Since then, my prayers have definitely changed,
at least my night prayers, and I just love praying now more than I
ever have before. The power of change on a mission is real. I am
loving exercise more now, I am loving study more now, I am loving
prayer more now, I am loving everything more now, but it's not really
the mission that does it, it is the atonement.

Saturday we had a fantastic day, and just went crazy. We talked to so
many people, and just opened our mouths as we tried to visit less
actives, and it was a blast. Most of the less actives we had visited
had moved forever ago, but the people living there were really nice,
and not angry that missionaries kept on visiting them and asking about
these people. It was just a really good day. And I felt super happy
all day.

Sunday two former investigators, nagaoka and Maeda came to church,
though Maeda only made it for relief society. Though they both tend to
come, I just hadn't known Maeda was a former investigator until now.
Church was great, and I had a talk, which I found out about that
morning. I talked about obedience, and shared this quote from Russell
m nelsons talk 'face the future with faith"' from the April 2011
conference. "Teach of faith to keep all the commandments of God,
knowing that they are given to bless His children and bring them joy.
Warn them that they will encounter people who pick which commandments
they will keep and ignore others that they choose to break. I call
this the cafeteria approach to obedience. This practice of picking and
choosing will not work. It will lead to misery. To prepare to meet
God, one keeps all of His commandments. It takes faith to obey them,
and keeping His commandments will strengthen that faith. Obedience
allows God’s blessings to flow without constraint. He will bless His
obedient children with freedom from bondage and misery. And He will
bless them with more light. For example, one keeps the Word of Wisdom
knowing that obedience will not only bring freedom from addiction, but
it will also add blessings of wisdom and treasures of knowledge. Teach
of faith to know that obedience to the commandments of God will
provide physical and spiritual protection" I know that this is true,
as we strive to be exactly obedient, and deepen how we are obedience,
choosing to make it a want, instead of a should, we will be happier,
and we will receive the blessings of heaven.

For a last minute talk, it turned out ok. We were then actually able
to meet 2 less actives after ward council meeting, and do some more
finding, despite the rain pouring down, and my companion not feeling
good. She did not want to stop dendoing, which didn't surprise me, but
she's feeling worse today, so I'm making her rest as much as I can.
That's about it for the week! I hope you all had a great week, I love
you and miss you! Love and live the gospel, come unto Christ! That is
what brings true joy!

Love, Sister Makin

Sometimes it seems impossible, but other times I think it's going to be ok

Dear family and friends,

This week did see some improvements, not in the way I was expecting,
but some improvements, and we have kind of found a peace. Sometimes.
There is still tension a lot of the time, but it has definitely calmed
down some. Most of it is probably just from the fact that we are two
different people.

Monday we tried a less active, and then did SKK, finally. Did not get
it done, but made some progress, and actually had plans for some of
the lessons this week. SKK is just not really one of omisaki shimais
priorities, which bugs me, because it is important, but it is what it
is, right now I'm just hoping I can at least learn who people are
before the end of the transfer, so that if she leaves, which will
probably be the case, it will be ok. She has been in Hirakata for four
now.

Tuesday we got poured on. It rained really hard, but we didn't have
time to go back to the apartment, and we eventually dried off anyways.
We met some really nice people, one mom had a friend who was mormon,
but she didn't want to give us her contact info, and the kids were
freaking out because it was about to start raining, and Japanese
people do not like rain. They really don't. That night we had a good
eikaiwa, and a new student. After omisaki Shimai and I taught two
different lessons in the same rooms, with the members that were there.
I taught daimon Kun with nosaka Kyodai, and it was awesome. We talked
about God, and the purpose of life, and then transitioned into the
spirit, and how we recognize it. The first part felt better than the
other part, but omisaki Shimai has her spirit lesson she likes to
start with, and she joined not too long after I transitioned, so it
was probably a good thing, and that part of the lesson did go well.
Nosaka Kyodai has an amazing testimony, and he really connected with
daimon. At the end, he said the prayer as we all kneeled, and daimon
said he had felt that it was powerful, he was starting to feel the
spirit, and that was so cool.

Wednesday we got a call from the ZLs, they had heard I was stressed,
and wanted to know if there was anything they could do to help, any
doctrinal advice they could offer. They also wanted us to go on a
kokan this weekend, and so I was back with cannon Shimai for about a
day. That day I was actually doing pretty good, but omisaki Shimai was
out. She had been crying since before that call, and wouldn't tell me
why. When I finally got her to talk to me a little bit, she only
mentioned the call, and had assumed I was saying bad things about her.
Not the case, it was about me, and my stress, but ah well. I was
worried if she was ok. She cried and slept all day, and wouldn't say a
would to me when I checked on her, even when I asked. I ended up
cleaning the entire apartment that day.

Thursday I was wiped from the day before, and she was still
emotionally struggling. We were going to do SKK, but I couldn't, and
she wouldn't really. I decided I needed a little break, and so I was
going to take a nap, but the spirit kept on waking me up. As I would
start to drift off, I would jolt as if I had been slapped or
something. Which actually turned out to be really cool. I decided I
had to face omisaki Shimai, and I couldn't very well hid from her.
When I came out, she told me an investigator could meet in 15 minutes
at the church, and that she had set up a doseki. The investigator had
told us she could meet today, but hadn't said when. If I had slept, we
would have missed it. It was a really good lesson, but really long,
which omisaki Shimai planned. She said an end time at the beginning,
and I was shocked, but couldn't say anything, because the investigator
had already agreed, and we didn't need to fight in front of our
investigator and the member. It was an hour and a half though. After
that we had dinner, and then went to a community meeting to try and
find opportunities for service. It was weird. I looked up the actual
name of the thing we were at, they had what kind of a meeting it was
on the board in kanji. It translated into idle gossip, which is found
hilarious, but it seemed to be a good meeting.

Friday we had zone training meeting which was amazing, and then my
kokan with cannon Shimai began. It felt so right working with her
again, almost as if we were back in Kyoto. She has grown so much, and
is even more of an amazing missionary than she used to be. We didn't
have any set up appointments, except one with a recent convert, but we
had a lot of fun, and felt really guided by the spirit. Their
dendoshunnin ran into us, and because he stopped and said hi, a lady
stopped and talked to us, cause she knew we could speak Japanese. And
she ended up giving her address to us, and then the next lady gave us
her phone number. I hope that things turn out well with both of them.
They also both believed in God, which is rare, and was way cool. We
also were able to meet a less  active, kitamoto Shimai, and as we were
sharing the message we were prepared, cannon Shimai was led to share a
really perfect scripture about the love of God, and bearing with
patience our afflictions. D&C 121:7-8. It seriously felt perfect to
me.

Saturday was another fun day. We taught a kids eikaiwa, and the kids
were bouncing off of the walls, but that is just normal kids I guess.
We also did some finding, and then the lesson we had had planned got
canceled, so we're were able to go to a meeting with sister carol f.
Mcconkie, she was in Osaka, and talked with the members about how to
teach their youth, and make them strong. It was all directed to the
youth, but I felt like it really applied to my investigators, to those
I teach, and missionary work. They need to have strong testimonies,
and the more Christlike I become, the better I will be able to help
them do so as well. We then switched back companions, but forgot to
get my keys back from the other sisters. Which included my bike key
and the apartment key. We carried my bike most of the way back to the
apartment, cause we couldn't leave it where they had parked it, and
then we rushed to meet the ZLs who brought our keys part of the way
for us, and then make it back to our apartment in time. We barely had
enough time, but we did it. Struggle of forgetting keys is real. I'm
sure we looked pretty funny dragging my locked bike back to the
apartment. Though it is more of a normal thing in Japan than it would
be in America.

Sunday we had fast Sunday, because of stake conference last week. We
also weren't able to go home until about 8:30, so it was a very long
fast, and I was so out of energy, but luckily the lord provided for
me, and I was able to make it back home, and also kind of coherently
testify when I needed too. There were also some Americans from Logan,
Utah visiting the temples in Japan, that stopped in our ward for
church, so I got to translate for them. That was fun. Their daughter
was super precious. She must have some disability, but it was clear to
me that she was a precious daughter of our father in heaven. They were
awesome members. Visited the mitanis as well, and shared a message
with them about eternal families. There dad isn't a member, so I
shared my experience, because I felt like I should, even though it
kind of felt awkward, because he was there, but when the spirit tells
you to do something, it tells you to do something.

All in all things are slowly improving, and I hope omisaki Shimai and
I can work together and see miracles. I love you all, and hope you are
all having fun, and working hard. Love you!

Love, Sister Makin

The stress goes on, and on, and on.

Dear family and friends, 

I think I can honestly say this has been the hardest week of my mission, at least in some ways. I am in someways grateful that I am experiencing this though. As Welch Kaicho told me, I have a great opportunity to learn through this challenge, probably mostly about myself, and I am hoping to be successful in learning about myself, and growing from this struggle. 

Monday we had a good pday. We went up to Kyoto for some shaved ice, which was way good, but also not cheap. I had Sadachi flavor, which is some kind of citrus. But I couldn't find an English translation. That night we visited Reisa chan, cause it was her birthday, and had a good time with her. We also got to talk over the phone to Reisa chans moms friend, a potential investigator. She seems really nice. 

Tuesday we worked on finishing last weeks SKK, which was a little ridiculous in my opinion, it just got put off so many times last week. We talked about less actives and the ward mission vision with the bishop, who happened to be at the church, and then did some companionship inventory. That helped some, but there were a lot of misunderstandings that happened within there, which kind of made things worse. Oh, lovely language struggles. 

Wednesday I collapsed, a bit. The stress of all of this change, and my companion and my relationship not being good just really hit me when she got mad at me again, and I had to take some time to figure things out. I felt I needed to talk with Welch Kaicho and get some advice, but since he was in zone conference in another zone, I mailed Welch Shimai and asked her to have him call me when he could. 

Thursday I got the call from Welch Kaicho, and he gave me some good advice that helped. I also talked with a senior elder, called to help when stress becomes overwhelming, that also helped. I know I want to still work with omisaki Shimai to see miracles. By the end of this week, I realized that that would have to be through the lord. And that is ok. Thursday we once again started SKK, though we never finished last weeks, and I got her to really introduce me to the area, at least started to. 

Friday we had district meeting, which was good, and then we went from that to our kokan. I was with Zhou Shimai in Abeno, and this time, omisaki Shimai and Wagstaff Shimai went back to Hirakata. I lovedFriday. We met a part active member, who is only that way cause of her health, and had lunch with her. And then we helped another member clean her house. It was way gross, but the poor sister can hardly move, and all movement is painful for her, and she still tried to help. It was also cool to see how strong her faith was as we shared a message with her. We ended that night with a Skype lesson. They have an investigator with a baptismal date, who could meet, but lives to far away to have come. It was brief, but way good, she struggles to understand the Book of Mormon, but really wants to. 

Saturday the kokan continued up until stake conference. We visited a less active who owns a bread shop, and connected the gospel, and keeping commandments to her pan, which was a way cool connection. I then attended the Abeno missionary coordination meeting. Their dendoshunnin is cool, he does karate, I could tell by his karate outfit. We then visited a referral they got from a less active at his glasses shop. We were going to start introducing him to God with a glasses tatoe, but we quickly found out he knew a lot more than we had thought, and wants to know what the difference with all of the Christian churches are. Zhou Shimai and I were both a little shocked, not every day you find someone who knows about Christ in Japan. Stake conference was great Saturday night, but Sunday was better. 

Sunday we also had a bit of more kokaning. Zhou Shimai and I were going to go pick up a less active, which ended up not happening. She called and said she wasn't coming. We arrived at the church, and talked with people, and then the Welchs arrived. I got to take a walk with Welch Shimai and talk with her for a bit, receive some counsel from her. After stake conference I got to talk with Welch Kaicho, and talking with both of them really helped a lot. I knew from the moment I felt overwhelmed, that I could trust them, and that they would help me. I can feel their love when I'm around them. They are easy to trust. I was nervous to return to Hirakata, return to just the two of us, but it was ok. There were a lot of bumpy moments, and some extra awkward ones, but it turned out ok. We met a less active, who just moved into the area, and then we had dinner with one of the cutest little families. On the way there it poured rain, and we didn't have our kappas, so we got soaking wet. The less active had hers, and wasn't much better off. The members freaked out and we're all worried about us catching a cold. Seto Shimai grabbed some of her clothes for us to wear, and got us all dried off. They really worry about colds in Japan, I was perfectly ok, and would've been fine, but they worry. I had to make sure I didn't laugh, it was a bit extreme for me. One of the little boys got confused because I was wearing his moms clothes, and wanted me to pick him up. He was so cute, and I wanted to, but obviously couldn't. 

I know omisaki Shimai is also struggling, and I want to help her, but I have no clue, and sometimes when I try it seems to make things worse. I don't understand her, and she doesn't understand me. Sometimes I have felt like she loves me because I am her doryo, out of obligation. Yesterday, she declared that she loves me enough to die for me, because I'm her doryo. One, it didn't feel real to me, and two, that just made me awkward. I have loved all of my companions, and would do anything for them, protect them to the best of my ability, give it my all, but I wouldn't tell them I'd die for them. I would just pray nothing like that ever happened. She also doesn't believe in the language barrier, but to me there is one, and also a culture barrier. Wish me luck as I go forth and strive to learn from this experience. I love and miss you all! You are all amazing, remember that. 

Now a spiritual thought, since this week probably wasn't the most uplifting email.

I have been thinking a lot lately about want and should. Those two words. When we think of should, there is a sense that if I do something, someone else will do something. That is what should happen. But, we only have control of our own actions. Thus when we do things in life because we should do them, the end result isn't happiness. In lots of cases, it is the very opposite. But, when we don't care about pleasing others, when we do what we want to do, then it doesn't matter what the other person does, because we will be happy. We won't have felt forced into doing something. I think the gospel abides by this principle. In the pre existence, Satan wanted to force us all to be righteous, and thus we would all be saved. We would all always do what we should do, but Christ offered us the better way. He voluntarily chose to save all of us, and gave us the right to choose what we want to do, because that is what he wanted to do. Of course there will be consequences when we don't follow the commandments, because those are what lead us to happiness, but we can't be happy following the commandments anyways, unless that is what we want to do. Because Christ wanted to save us, and then performed the atonement, we have been given the opportunity to find real happiness. But only if we want to. This life is about choices, and the choices we make should be our own. Examine your motivation for doing what you do, and if it's not a want right now, but you want it to be that way, find a way to change it. Rely on the lord to help your desires change, so you will want the joys that the gospel brings, and I know that it will bring you happiness. The following is a quote from the talk the fourth missionary. "Don't think that you can't do this. Often we are deceived to think that the gospel is harder than what it is. Life is hard, not the gospel. You can do what I have explained to you today. Do you hear that? You can. lfyou don't, it will only be because you choose not to, not because-you can't, not because it is too hard." I know that we can all receive the joy of the gospel as we choose to follow our lord, and look to him, not the people around us. I know that he loves us, and he will help us to receive joy as we choose to follow him. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ amen. 

Love, Sister Makin

At Reisa chan and akatsuka shimais

The wish I'm not sure I should have wished for

Dear family and friends,

What a crazy week, sometimes k don't even know what is going on,
actually a lot of the time, but I am definitely still having fun.

Monday smith Shimai got the call that she was becoming an stl, so I
cleaned the apartment while she packed, and then we finished off our
pday activities. That night we played spoons with tom, and Youko
Shimai, and had a lot of fun. We then taught them the importance of
the restoration with head, shoulders, knees, and toes, and I just love
that tatoe, it had become easier to do as well.

Tuesday right as we were about to go out and dendo, I got the call,
found out I was transferring to Hirakata, and as I had wished, I was
going to have a nihonjin companion. Her name is omisaki Shimai, and we
both go home together in December. She is Senpai, and my second
Senpai, since I've only had one before, my trainer mills Shimai. It is
so weird being the junior companion again. Since I had to pack and
send off my suitcases, we stopped, and I packed, we sent off the
suitcases, and then we got out to dendo. We tried to visit a couple of
less actives, and say goodbye, but they weren't home. We had an
appointment with Youko Shimai for dinner, so we went to that, and said
goodbye, she was so sad that we were both leaving. That night we had
eikaiwa, and that was a lot of fun. The kids were everywhere, and so
were the missionaries. Lots of fun though.

Wednesday we left early in the morning. We got a ride from a couple of
members, they like to say goodbye when missionaries transfer, so we
did that and then went to Kobe, smith shimais results were back, and
she is 100% healthy. It is probably just a hereditary problem, nothing
visible. But at least it wasn't and ulcer. The rest of that day we
spent trying to help the office couple, the bills, and also the
welchs. We did help, but mainly we got treated to stories and Welch
shimais cooking. We were kind of stuck, because we aren't going back
to Toyooka because of transfers, but we had fun doing what we could.
They were really prepared so that transfers could go smoothly, and it
worked pretty well.

Thursday was transfer day, it was cool to see Oswald Shimai, smith
Shimai (mtc comp.), and cannon Shimai. They were all becoming
trainers, so I got a chance to see them. Transfers went  pretty
simply, I wasn't too nervous, and I got to teach a cute couple on the
train. I met omisaki Shimai, and after a little bit we headed back to
our apartment. SKK was interesting. It was the normal introducing and
everything, I felt like she expected me to know about everyone, and
who we should visit when I hadn't even heard anything about Them. That
was a little taihen. I didn't realize at first how hard it was, but
definitely is better to learn who the people are. That night we went
to visit kobayashi Shimai, and met her less active daughter that is
never home, it was definitely a miracle. The other cool thing was I
saw yoshiya Kun from shimogamo, which was lots of fun. He was on his
way home from work, and recognized me, and I recognized him. It was so
funny. I'm actually really close to shimogamo again, which is weird
for me.

Friday we had a doseki lesson with kana San and matsusaki Shimai, and
that was amazing. She loves the Book of Mormon, and even though I just
met her, I can tell her faith is increasing. But she needs to tell her
husband that she is meeting with us. We also visited Hara Shimai, a
less active, who has recently realized she needs to be reading her
scriptures, so hopefully we can help her big that habit,and then we
visited akatsuka Shimai and her daughter. I taught akatsuka Shimai in
English, and omisaki Shimai taught Reisa chan in Japanese. Akatsuka
Shimai doesn't speak Japanese, so that is how it worked. Today was one
of the hardest days of my life. Omisaki Shimai got upset at me, for
what I felt was a little thing, but I couldn't explain it, and she was
for some reason really upset. It's hard, because whenever she is
explaining her feelings she acts angry, and I can't tell if she is
angry or not, or if she just wants me to understand, but this time she
was angry, and I definitely felt alone. I couldn't explain anything in
Japanese, and English wouldn't help anything, so I just stayed silent.
The same problem has been going on, off and on, the rest of this week,
and I definitely miss English. I love Japanese, but I miss English.
There is nothing like your native language ever. But I am definitely
relying a lot more on the lord through this. I asked for a nihonjin
companion, and know I don't know what I was thinking, it is way
harder, despite the fact that we really do get along and already love
eachother. So I'm relearning the lesson be careful what you wish for,
but I know I need this experience, otherwise i wouldn't be
experiencing it, so hopefully I can learn the lessons I am supposed
to, and then apply them.

Saturday we biked all day, trying to visit some less actives, but no
one was home, and we biked really far, to the top of the mountain. On
the way home, we tried some people we hadn't planned, and half met
them, but they were busy, so we just introduced me as the new
missionary, and headed home. We biked over 10 miles, 25 kilometers at
least we figured out, especially because we got way lost, and had to
find our way back. I have gotten lost on purpose to get to know an
area many times, but always had an idea where I was. This time I had
absolutely no idea. 100% lost, and omisaki Shimai isn't the best with
directions. Luckily I can read a map, and got her back to an area that
she knew.

Sunday we had to get SKK finished, cause we didn't on Thursday, but
that didn't happen. Omisaki Shimai pushed it off over and over again,
and thus we came to Sunday, but after church, we had ward council,
which was awesome. The first part, which was with the missionaries,
ended up going for over two hours, but it was a good chance to talk
with the ward. We then had lunch, basically making a cake for a
members birthday, rushed by train to visit a less active at her part
time job, which was good, but then we were late to our appointment
with the kawabatas. It was Kawabata kyodais birthday. And they wanted
us over to celebrate. The message way went south, but through the
spirit I was able to fix it kind of, but it was scary there for a
little bit. I was glad I didn't understand everything that was being
said, and could use what I understood to change the topic. Sometimes
not being fluent is super helpful.

So that was my week, definitely an emotional roller coaster, and I'm
pretty sure my companion didn't know I was on it, but that is ok. I
definitely learned a lot through this, and I'm still excited for this
transfer with omisaki Shimai, cause I'm sure we'll see miracles. Plus
the ward is great.

Love you all, and hope you have a great week! I love you all, and I love Japan!

Love, Sister Makin

We had a cockroach in our apartment. It was alive, but somehow we

killed it, but right before this we were both screeching everytime we

saw it and it moved.

They all finished at the same time, 2,3,4. Fun at family home evening. :)

Hospital, kokan, and repentance call

Dear family and friends,

This week was not too eventful, but we had a good week as far as
effort, but it was definitely one of the harder weeks of my mission.

Last week we spent our pday in Kobe with the sisters and went to
harbor land. It is really famous, and I thought it was a lot of fun.
It was kind of fun, but it was a shopping mall, and I wasn't expecting
that. I got bored really quickly. Just before pday ended we traveled
to Akashi and started our kokan. I was with saijo Shimai again, and we
went to a member in akashi for dinner. They fed us yakiniku, and it
was so good. The brother is Kobes stake president, and he taught us
about prayer. It was a fun night.

Tuesday I did not enjoy too much. Saijo Shimai is a great missionary,
but the way she almost forces lessons on people that don't really want
them just bugged me. It was also hard, because she kind of took over,
and then let me testify at the end of lessons, which isn't what she
had done before. We spent almost the entire day at the eki finding. We
taught 18 lessons, though I wouldn't have counted some of them, and
then we had our kokan review. She asked me why I seemed less happy,
and I was kind of stumped. But we talked, and I tried to explain, but
she didn't understand. Language Barrie probs. We ended the night by
teaching one of their investigators, and it was a good lesson, but I
was again just kind of there. I really struggled with that kokan, and
felt like I didn't learn much. But I learned some, and especially some
things that I don't want to do, because they just aren't who I am, and
when you dendo, you still need to be you.

Wednesday we went back to the hospital, and it was decided that my
companion will need a scope so that they can figure out what is wrong
with her. So we had even more travel to Kobe. We came back to toyooka,
and got out and dendoed. The only person that was home, told us she
wasn't interested anymore. But then on the way back we met Youko
Shimai, and we were able to share a message with her, and that
brightened our day, and then we almost ran into a fellow gaijin, and
she wants to meet again. She recently moved here from France, and we
are not sure if she is interested in the church or just having
friends, but we are hoping for the former.

Thursday we got out and worked our butts off Dendoing, because it was
the only day that we really had to dendo, and we did not see as much
success as we were hoping for. We taught 5 lessons, which was awesome,
but we visited over 12 people. At first I was pretty down about it,
especially cause the one scheduled appointment we had stood us up, but
we worked hard, we had fun. And I felt good at the end of the day. Had
to stop and get an ice cream pick me up, but there were definitely
small miracles that day to keep us going.

Friday we had district meeting, and it started super late, because one
of the elders almost got arrested. He is big, and Mexican, and when he
was picking up the bike the elders had left for them at the eki, he
looked suspicious, but the elders let him go. Meanwhile we were at the
church wondering what in the world was going on. But after that
district meeting was a lot of fun, and then we went to lunch together
at sukiya. After that it was back out to dendo. No one was home, until
murata Shimai, and her son murata Kyodai from Nishiwaki was there as
well, so I got to talk to him a little bit. We also got to teach
Yamada San, and she is doing well. Unfortunately her family is hantai,
so she is debating whether or not she should keep learning with us,
but she has a desire to learn, so we encouraged her to pray about it,
and hopefully she will continue learning with us. Not too long after
that we headed back out to Kobe, got on a train and then slept over at
the Kobe sisters again.

Saturday smith Shimai got a scope. She really wanted to just get right
back out to dendo, but it totally wiped her. So I ended up staying
with her at the sisters apartment, with the other sick sister, Harada
Shimai, who was the person I replaced when I came to toyooka. So we
stayed at the apartment all day and she rested up some, and then that
night we went to the Sapporo temple celebration, and that was amazing.
I didn't really have any idea what was going on, but it was way good,
and cool to see how all the youth worked together to make it a special
night.

Sunday was president monsoons birthday, and the Sapporo temple
dedication. We watched the first session in Kobe, and it was so
amazing. I felt the spirit so strongly, as if I had been in the actual
temple itself, not just in a church. I loved that feeling. It was also
cool to see elder Stevenson speak in Japanese, though I got the
English translation, so I could only hear him sometimes, but he is way
good at Japanese. They had a great translator for president Nelson
though. We then traveled to Nishiwaki so the we could ride back with
our members, and then they decided to stay for the 3 session as well
as the one they had just watched. It was way cool to be able to see it
again, but not good for dendo time. But they were our way home, and we
couldn't drive the car ourselves. So once we finally got back to
toyooka, we had to get SKK done, and then it was planning time. After
planning time, I was just waiting for my zone leader, tanaka Choro to
call, and talk about the 20 lessons goal we have as a mission, since
we didn't get it this week. I thought I could handle it, bad that he
would be super understanding because of how little dendo time we had
in our area, but he wasn't very understanding, and by the end of that
call I was broken. I couldn't really respond to him much, and when it
ended, I just cried. I felt like I had done my best, until that point,
and even though I knew he was trying to encourage me, it just made me
sad. My dear sweet companion supported me so much, even though she was
blaming herself for it. Sometimes calls to repentance are good things,
but this time it just hurt, and I didn't know what else I could've
done. But it was ok, I have a loving companion, and we are supporting
eachother through this.

Transfers are this week, and the only thing we have found out is that
smith Shimai is going to be an stl in kawachinagano with kawamura
Shimai. Still waiting to know if I am staying/ who my new companion
will be.

It may sound like I had a crappy week, but it was a good week in at
least one thing. I learned that I don't care what others think, as
long as I keep my savior as the focus. It is hard, but I am happier
when I strive to do as he would do, and just utilize others
opinions/counsel to help me better do that. I love you all so much,
and I miss you.

Love, Sister Makin

The Sapporo temple, it's beautiful.